Presence

I lead with presence –

I lead with presence to fulfill myself and so you can live your greatest life.

In this way I am aware of the ability to be and do in unison. It’s about being fully available and totally ready for what is in the moment. Where did this gift come from? For as long as I can remember, I have been able to be with “crisis” situations. For example, many years ago, my sister and I were practicing at the local YMCA for a circus we were part of. I was on the opposite end of the gym when I heard a loud noise followed by a hush in the room. Before turning, I felt in my body that something had happened to my sister. And in fact, the equipment she was training on failed, and she fell from about 25 feet in the air to the floor, severely breaking her wrist. In that moment, my body actually changed. My heart rate slowed, my breathing slowed and my senses become more acute. My body became ready for the energy and calm that would be needed from me while I offered support to my sister. From that day to this, when I sense something “big” ahead, my breathing and my heart rate slow. I have the ability to see the many layers of what is happening and instinctively to sense what is needed, usually before it is generally known.

I can feel what others feel. It’s not that I sense or can relate – I can actually feel the sensations of other people and of animals. Over the years, I have learned to discern which energy/feelings/sensations belong to me and which belong to others, and that discernment enables me to be even more present with people. When I walk into a room, people know I’m there even when they don’t know exactly where. In the same way, my energetic field is available when I am not there. People have often told me that they think of me and draw on my strength for things they are going through. They know that if they come to me, I am able to be with them and with myself at the same time. It’s difficult to explain something that for me simply is.

Presence is a gift. I pay attention to myself and to what is flowing in me. I organize myself to be present but I can’t make it happen. I don’t try and accomplish presence. When I orient, presence flows through me. I’ve always described the feeling internally as my knowing. I am a vessel of service to the world around me. Because presence, which some people call grace, comes from a higher source, people are drawn to it.  There is movement and stillness, vibration and calm, resonance and dissonance in perfect harmony. It is from this place of presence that voice emanates. There is a rich yet vulnerable tone to my voice. The soulful resonance touches people.

I remember as a young person reading about Gandhi for the first time. I had a school assignment to write a biography, and Gandhi was one of the people we could choose to write about. I remember standing in the library, reading a section in the encyclopedia about Gandhi. There was a photograph of him in traditional Indian clothing, and words about his work in South Africa and India. As I read, I was aware of knowing what that clothing felt like to Gandhi’s skin. It was as if I were wearing the same clothes. I felt a pull in my chest and warmth came over me that came from deep within my body. I had the distinct feeling that I knew what Gandhi felt. I felt the depth of his yearning for peace as well as the profound knowing that he was called to be an agent for change.  And…that I knew what his feet felt like as he walked. I knew the temperature of the land upon which he walked and the connection of the soles of his feet to the earth. How do you tell someone when you’re 12 or 13 that you know this? You don’t. I didn’t. I simply continued to be aware of things. And I have given of myself freely, because I feel called to do so.

I believe that this energy is the reason people respond to me with comments like:  “You’re easy to talk to.”  “I feel safe with you.”  “I feel like I can tell you anything.”  “I never feel judged by you.”  “I feel seen by you.”  “It’s as if you understand me better than I understand myself.”  “I want more time with you.” “I feel good when I’m around you.” “You are so wise.” “You inspire me.” “When I’m around you, I feel like everything is okay and is going to be okay.” There is a vibration that emanates from me that is alluring to people.

I meet people at their soul. By being present, I invite people to be authentic. When people are engaged with me, they want more from me and they want more from themselves. I can feel this. When I am at my most vulnerable, I am also in my greatest strength. When we are vulnerable, our defenses lessen and we are more open to one another. It’s like music – it reaches past our defenses, into our souls and moves us. In this place of knowing, there is no limit to what is available. This is why people come back to me. They feel the possibility and they sense that it is available to them. There is a steadfastness that transcends words. There is a mystical quality to their experiences with me. And there is a sense that no matter what, they are safe to be whoever they are, say whatever they need to say, knowing that the next time we meet, they will be welcome.