Day 115

I’m not at all sure where this post will take us, but if you’ll bear with me, we’ll find out together. Today was an extraordinarily long day – at least for me, emotionally. I got confirmation that my artificial knee joint is failing, and I will need knee “revision” surgery. And, at the present moment, it is possible that the surgery itself won’t happen before the end of August, because the earliest appointment I could get to meet with the surgeon was for August 22. It is remotely possible that I will get in earlier (could be as early as next Tuesday), but it’s also possible I won’t.

As my friend Sandy and I headed toward Nevada City, I was feeling sorry for myself. I was thinking about how I don’t want to be in the minuscule percentage of people who have knee replacement that need “revision”. And, I don’t want to wait six weeks to see the surgeon. On and on I went in my head, until I was tired of my own thoughts. And then I got quiet. And Sandy hung in there with me by being in the silence, but not taking on my feelings.

Sandy drove us home via “Old Highway 40”, stopping at one point to look at a couple of stone buildings near the road. As we read the plaque about the buildings, we found out that one of them used to be a gift store where people stopped on their way to and from the Truckee/Lake Tahoe area. The sign also mentioned that with the building of the new freeway (Interstate 80), folks could travel to their destinations much faster, and no longer wanted to stop along the way, so the tiny town’s gift shops and groceries couldn’t generate enough revenue to stay in business.

I was struck by the irony of fast cars and fast lives leading us to miss out on unique and special experiences, like a stop at the small stone gift store along route 40. And I thought about how many things I have seen as I’ve Walked for Peace that I wouldn’t have seen from a car. Somehow, my mind calmed enough to simply be with my friend, looking at a cool historical momument, and I was grateful that Sandy had stopped.

My guess is that in the next little while, I will go in and out of total acceptance of the circumstances surrounding this part of the Walk for Peace. At the very least, I know that I can recover fairly quickly to a place of acceptance if/when I choose too.

Overall, I am very lucky. I have a wonderful friend to stay with, and Chandler is happy and welcome here. I have clothes, food and a place to lay my head at night. And, I am getting the medical care I need.

I have more than enough.