Today marks three weeks and one day since I had revision surgery on my artificial knee, and the physical recovery is going well. I am going to physical therapy three times a week, and doing exercises in between appointments. I’m dealing with numbness in the entire bottom of my foot, which presents its own challenges, and I have no way of knowing whether the numbness will go away with time, or be a permanent result of the surgery.
The past three weeks have had a life of their own, and one that has taken me in and out of being Peaceful many times.
For me, one of the dificult parts about any surgery is that the recovery process includes taking pain medication, which makes me feel disconnected from my heart center. The disconnect makes me feel edgy and not Peaceful. I know intellectually that the medication is necessary in order to heal, and I have taken it as I was instructed to. And, I am grateful to be weaning off of it – returning to myself and to a place of Peace.
Another thing that has pulled me in and out of Peace is pain. The pain I have experienced since the surgery has, at times, been excruciating. What’s interesting about the pain is that it not only brings me totally present to the moment but also totally cuts me off from anything else. In times when the pain has been really intense, I have not been able to concentrate on breathing, meditating, etc. Unfortunately, the more I concentrated on the pain, the more intense it seemed. Fortunately, both medication and icing helped to relieve the pain. In the times when the pain subsided, I found myself noticing my breathing, and becoming present to the gratitude I felt as my body settled down. In the relief, I felt Peace return inside of me.
As I am going through each day, the numbness in the bottom of my foot makes me need to be fully present to each step I take – a constant reminder that while I may become frustrated or irritated by the circumstance, the less I resist it, the more Peace I find. So, I am working with the physical therapist on the proper way to walk to distribute my weight evenly between my feet. Also, I am learning about how to walk down stairs – being sure I have my foot stable first. As I work with the numbness as my “new normal”, instead of fighting it, I have the opportunity to expand the connectivity between body, mind and spirit. And, the acceptance allows me to find Peace.
I am profoundly grateful for the help, support and love I have received from people near and far while I have been Walking (in place) for Peace. Thanks to each of you, for holding the intention for the Walk for Peace in your hearts and for reaching out to me and to others to connect for the sake of Peace.
The Walk for Peace continues…