Day 522

Dear friends,

I’m going to ask you to bear with me a bit as I share here – my intention for today and for this writing in particular is vulnerable, full bodied voice. I am not at all sure where I’m going, so I too, will bear with.

Since I arrived in Nevada County, I have had many people share their happiness that I made the decision to come back. I’ve also been told it was a “good” decision. Friends are reaching out, Chandler is relaxed and seems to be feeling well and I have settled at the home of my friends, Tina and Becky. On the surface, all is well.

For this Peace Walker, however, in the layers beneath the surface, I am wandering through a maze of curious and challenging self-inquiry. Curious because I honestly do not know what the next right step is for me. I am still called to Walk for Peace, and I believe I always will be. And, I am asking myself whether the Walk is sustainable the way I have been doing it. Challenging because I question whether my energy would better serve Peace in a Walk that is is more than a woman, her dog and a buggy on the road…

And the biggest question, of course; “What is Peace, to me?”. I’d like to try and answer that here; as it might help guide me.

To me, Peace is a world where human beings understand our inner connectedness and interdependence. It is where nonviolence is how we are, not something we strive for. It is open dialog and a “seat at the table” for all people. Peace is rooted in an absence of fear and hate, spreading out in love and kindness. It is where all human beings have equal rights and equal opportunity. Peace is a world disarmed. No nuclear warheads, no chemical stockpiles; a complete absence of arms. And, Peace is the recovery, restoration and protection of our environment and all it’s inhabitants.

The events in Charlottesville two weeks ago actually rocked me to my core. I have spent a great deal of time trying to find in myself why it was so debilitating, and what I am aware of is the energy of hate that was present. The anger that one could see in the eyes of the participants was palpable – with no room for it to dissipate. And, a young, white woman was killed standing for what she believed in. I found myself wondering if the media coverage would have been different if a person of color, or someone with a disability, or an openly queer or transgender person had been killed. Its also important to remember that a young, white male drove his car into a crowd for what he believed in. I wondered if the media would have called his act terrorism if he had been a person of color or of foreign descent. Of course, the questions are rhetorical, yet I cannot help but wonder.

I feel strongly that for every act of hatred, exclusion or racism that occurs, the way to Peace lies in an even greater act of love, inclusion and empathy. Although the questions about the Walk and it’s evolution remain unanswered tonight, I find myself eager to do more for the sake of Peace, and holding still in the place of inquiry.

Peace to you,

Alexis