Peace of Mind… (blog)

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine gave me an acknowledgement, which I quickly thanked her for, as I tried to change the subject. Fortunately for me, my friend stopped me and invited me to sit, hear and be with the acknowledgement she was offering. As I listened to her words, I felt moved by the outpouring of love and appreciation she was  giving me. As I allowed her words to sink in, I felt myself getting warm inside, and a bit teary eyed at the love I felt both from my friend and for her. I realized that in my rush to get to the next subject, I was keeping both myself and my friend from sharing a moment of deep connection.

There is something beautifully vulnerable about being seen by another human being, and in sharing what we see in them.

I wonder…

Is there someone you appreciate that you’d be willing to share it with? If they minimize the acknowledgement or try and brush it off, will you invite them to receive it? And, how will you remember to receive the next time someone acknowledges you?

Today marks three weeks and one day since I had revision surgery on my artificial knee, and the physical recovery is going well. I am going to physical therapy three times a week, and doing exercises in between appointments. I’m dealing with numbness in the entire bottom of my foot, which presents its own challenges, and I have no way of knowing whether the numbness will go away with time, or be a permanent result of the surgery.

The past three weeks have had a life of their own, and one that has taken me in and out of being Peaceful many times.

For me, one of the dificult parts about any surgery is that the recovery process includes taking pain medication, which makes me feel disconnected from my heart center. The disconnect makes me feel edgy and not Peaceful. I know intellectually that the medication is necessary in order to heal, and I have taken it as I was instructed to. And, I am grateful to be weaning off of it – returning to myself and to a place of Peace.

Another thing that has pulled me in and out of Peace is pain. The pain I have experienced since the surgery has, at times, been excruciating. What’s interesting about the pain is that it not only brings me totally present to the moment but also totally cuts me off from anything else. In times when the pain has been really intense, I have not been able to concentrate on breathing, meditating, etc. Unfortunately, the more I concentrated on the pain, the more intense it seemed. Fortunately, both medication and icing helped to relieve the pain. In the times when the pain subsided, I found myself noticing my breathing, and becoming present to the gratitude I felt as my body settled down. In the relief, I felt Peace return inside of me.

As I am going through each day, the numbness in the bottom of my foot makes me need to be fully present to each step I take – a constant reminder that while I may become frustrated or irritated by the circumstance, the less I resist it, the more Peace I find. So, I am working with the physical therapist on the proper way to walk to distribute my weight evenly between my feet. Also, I am learning about how to walk down stairs – being sure I have my foot stable first. As I work with the numbness as my “new normal”, instead of fighting it, I have the opportunity to expand the connectivity between body, mind and spirit. And, the acceptance allows me to find Peace.

I am profoundly grateful for the help, support and love I have received from people near and far while I have been Walking (in place) for Peace. Thanks to each of you, for holding the intention for the Walk for Peace in your hearts and for reaching out to me and to others to connect for the sake of Peace.

The Walk for Peace continues…

My friend Katja’s daughter Hollie created this beautiful top for me. While I’m pretty sure it will better fit Chandler, I am absolutely honored that Hollie took the time to make it for me. You see, Hollie and I have never even met. Katja and I are friends, and when I began the Walk for Peace, Katja began telling Hollie about it. Together, they have been following my progress, and when Katja and I speak (did I mention she lives in a different country?), she shares with Hollie about the Walk.

Tonight, we had a second meeting for Peace in Nevada County, and one of the things we discussed was how we define a culture of Peace.

For this Peace Walker, it is about peaceful language, action, energy and thought. It is about inclusion and diversity. It is about invitation and allowing. It is about forgiveness and compassion. And it is about vigilance and purpose.

Sharing the Walk for Peace in a way that inspires the message of Peace to be passed to youngsters like Hollie is one example of a culture of Peace.

Can you think of a way that you or someone you know cultivates a culture of Peace? What is one thing you could do to enhance the culture of Peace around you? And who is the “Hollie” in your life that is ready to create art for Peace?

I took the day off from news yesterday.

Today, I read about an imam and his assistant being shot and killed in Queens. The news reported on what people (Muslims in particular) should be afraid of going forward.

And, I read about a young man who was shot and killed by police in Milwaukee,WI; prompting riots to break out. The news reported on the young man’s family calling for Peace.

Both locations devastated by another act of violence; three more lives lost. No easy answer for  either circumstance.

For this Peace Walker, the answer is active participation in Peaceful events. Meetings with the community to discuss Peace and the importance of being a Peaceful role model.  Singing songs of Peace. Gathering together in for the sake of Peace. Creating activities that revolve around Peaceful interaction. Rejuvenating when I  need to, so that I can be a voice for Peace wherever I go.

For every act of violence and every violent word, courage to stand in Peace becomes paramount to the work the Walk for Peace is doing.

The time to act is here, now.

How will you respond to the need for Peace in yourself, your family, your community, your world?

 

I started the day with a couple of phone calls, followed by a trip out to a local reservoir to go boating with some friends. I could not have asked for a better, more rejuvenating day. I have not spent that much time outside in several weeks, and I am once again reminded of the deep Peace I feel when I am in nature.

At different times during the afternoon, I got in the water and just floated with my eyes closed, listening to the sounds around me; feeling grateful to be exactly where I was.

I’ve been struggling with a fair amount of pain in my knee, and not able to walk much, so I have felt a bit sluggish physically, and being in the water relieved me of some of that feeling. Also, the wind mixed with the sun against my face made me feel alive, open and happy.

I noticed that time seemed to fly by. I found conversation came easily to all of us, as did laughing from the belly. There was respect for each person’s physical abilities and limitations. Most of all though, there was love. Love of the outdoors, love for each other, love of life.

Is there somewhere in nature where you find Peace? How about someone you enjoy sharing it with? What about it is so special? And how will you bring more of it into your life?

Last night I had the strangest dream
I ever dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war
I dreamed I saw a mighty room
The room was filled with men
And the paper they were signing said
They’d never fight again

And when the papers all were signed
And a million copies made
They all joined hands and bowed their heads
And grateful prayers were prayed
And the people in the streets below
Were dancing round and round
And guns and swords and uniforms
Were scattered on the ground

Last night I had the strangest dream
I ever dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war

Ed McCurdy, 1950

I remember when I was in choir in the early 70s, and I heard this song for the first time. Our choir director sang it for us while playing her guitar, and I cried. I can’t say that I had a “real” sense of what war was, but I know that I was deeply moved by the words and the passion with which the choir director sang.

Sometime soon after, I heard it sung by Simon and Garfunkel on their Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M. album. I remember feeling drawn to listen to the song over and over, so that I could commit it to memory. I didn’t have any reason to memorize the song; I simply felt compelled to do so.

It would be many years later that I heard the song again, at a rally in front of the San Francisco city hall, where Joan Baez singing. And again, it brought tears to my eyes. This time, however, my knowledge of war was deeper, my understanding of the need for Peace, greater.

And then, for some reason, the song came to me again today. I sang it a couple of times, and I will carry the underlying hope with me going forward. And, each time I say or sing the words, I will hold the belief that dreams do come true.

 

I had a chance to visit with a couple of women this afternoon with whom I feel quite Peaceful. All three of us have “a lot going on” in our lives, and somehow, we consistently find the time to be with one another. Also, we are able to immediately drop into deep conversation; almost as if we haven’t been apart. For this Peace Walker, these kinds of conversations are nurturing to my soul. And, they allow me to regenerate.

Later, one of those friends went to the county fair, and she sent me two photos from the youth art exhibit. My friend explained that the exhibition has a section on Peace this year. I love the idea of young people designing art with Peace as the theme. Although I won’t make it to the fair because of my knee, I am thrilled that Peace is a visible part of it this year (I didn’t include the photos, because I don’t have permission from the artists). It means so much when someone who has been touched by the Walk for Peace reaches out and shares their experience with me, as my friend did from the fair today. The idea of the ripple of Peace continuing to grow brings this Peace Walker great joy.

On a more personal note…

Next Tuesday, the 16th, I will have surgery to replace/revise the failing artificial knee I received less than two years ago. The surgery will be followed by physical therapy and rehabilitation. What I want to remember is to stay in the present moment, particularly around my knee. I have been working toward the solution (in this case, surgery), since I first had to come off the road in late May, and I am ready to be on the other side of it. If you think of it, please send Peaceful thoughts in my direction on Tuesday.

Just a couple of questions tonight:

•  Do you know anyone who is ill that you could actively support with Peaceful thoughts and energy?
• Would you be willing to tell them you’re holding the space of Peace for them?
• Where have you seen activity around Peace; whether it’s art, or music or a simple conversation? Did you join in the activity? How?

In my haste to get going this morning, I left the house without completing the practices that ground me.

You see, I was getting a ride to pick a car that a friend loaned me to take myself to see the orthopedic surgeon, and I didn’t want to be late. Then, when I got to the surgeon’s office, everyone was rushing around because the schedule was overbooked. At the hospital, they wanted to get me in quickly, because they had to be sure I was registered and on the schedule for surgery on Tuesday (details in tomorrow’s post). Then, I took the car back to my friend at work, and she quickly ran me up the hill and dropped me off. When I got inside, I started making phone calls to find a physical therapist who would take my insurance plan, and then talked to the doctor’s office to get them to fax the order. It’s important that the order got faxed today so that the physical therapist could get the authorization to treat me, so that the surgeon can refer me to them on Wednesday after my surgery on Tuesday. Once that was complete, I had a phone call with a friend who lives in the UK.

And breathe…

By the time the activities of the morning were complete, I was exhausted. I had started the day out without taking the time to do the things that I know keep me centered and at Peace. As a result, I got caught up in the “swirl”, and before I even realized it, I was a bit on edge and getting anxious.

What’s important about sharing all of this with you is to illustrate how easy it is to fall out of step with the practices that bring us to Peace. On a day when my regular practices would serve me well, I let them slip. And, in turn, I became slippery.

Fortunately, I didn’t stay there the whole day. When I realized what was happening, I took a moment and took several deep breaths and asked myself what I needed to return to Peace within. I rested a bit, and as I awakened, I was able to reconnect to my center, take some slow, deep breaths, and begin the day again. A bit later, I put out a notice about a meeting for Peace that I’m organizing for Monday evening, the 15th. I also took Chandler out for a short walk, which helped us both.

I am not always calm, relaxed and at Peace. However, I do know the things to do in order for me to recover to Peace. And, I am aware that I am at choice. Every day and every moment, I can choose to be in the energy of Peace and Peaceful action. Or, I can choose edginess and angst. For me, Peace is spacious, kind and unfettered, which makes me able to be in presence to myself and others.

When and how do you let go of the practices that are healthy and balancing for you? What makes you notice that you are not a Peace?How do you recover?

 

Today, I met with a friend for lunch, and we spent the majority of the time speaking about the spiritual lessons we have each learned over the years. We found out that a great deal of our experience is similar, which allowed for a feeling of safety and permission to say whatever came to mind.

Next, I spoke with a woman I went through leadership training with. The conversation was direct, bold, curious and challenging. We were open to each other’s perspectives, and also able to stand confidently in our our own experiences.

Finally, I spoke with another woman from the leadership program I attended, and we talked primarily from our bodies. We both, at different times sought validation for our feelings in each other’s eyes. Each of us sighed heavily a couple of times during the call, and there were several periods of silence where we were simply “with” each other’s energy.

Each conversation was nurturing in its own way, just as every conversation I’ve had on the Walk for Peace has been.

You see, for this Peace Walker, being open to every conversation is what breathes life into relationships. I have had the good fortune of having many, many conversations for Peace along the Walk. And, I’ve had Peaceful conversations about all kinds of subjects.

I enter into the conversations open to where they may lead, even if its in a direction that is different than where I might think I want to go. The primary thing to remember is that I am neither less than nor more than the people I am in conversation with, that everyone in the conversation has a voice, and that there is room for disagreement.

Another thing I am aware of is the amount of violent rhetoric is in our speech today. One way we can work on more Peace in the world is to use language that comes from a loving place within us. Another is to remove name calling and labeling of others from discussion. Still another is not to gossip.

Using rhetoric that is negative, unkind or judgemental, we create defensiveness. And using language that is loving, inclusive and responsible, we create invitation.

Every conversation that comes from invitation is one where the energy of Peace is present, and the possibilities are endless.

What do you notice about your words? Are they kind? Or perhaps, harmful to you or others? How can you remember to invite and include today?

As I walked with Chandler this morning, thinking about the bombing of a hospital in Pakistan that killed more than 60 and injured over 100, I found myself thinking about Peace in our world, and wishing I had a way to bring all of the individuals and groups working for Peace together. I thought about how much energy for Peace we could create, and the impact it could have if we had a way to connect ourselves, literally.

Later in the day, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the energetic ripples of Peace that are being created all over the world by those same people. I pictured those ripples flowing out and meeting up with one another, and I was aware that the impact is equally as profound with us spread around the globe.

In the evening, I picked up this dried flower, imagining the cycle of its life, wondering why this flower came off the plant where others are still thriving in warmth of the late summer evening sun.

I don’t pretend to have the answers as to how we will find Peace in the world, or even when. What I do know is that each day that I speak and act for Peace, the Walk continues, another seed is planted, and the ripple of Peace grows.