Peace of Mind… (blog)

Every morning when I first see Chandler, I can’t help myself but smile. She wags her tail and wiggles as I greet her with good morning scratches.

I’m reminded of a book my father and his wife gave me a few years back called Guardians of Being: Spiritual Teachings From Our Dogs and Cats by Eckhart Tolle and Patrick McDonnell. For me, the underlying message is about living in the present moment, and the joy that can come from being present. There is a sweetness and a simplicity about the way the book is written and illustrated, and at the same time, its message is profound.

I find great Peace in being with Chandler, regardless of the activity we are engaged in. In some way, simply being with her helps me get completely out of my head and into my body, which then brings me into the experience more fully. When I have gone out for a period of time, whether it is five minutes or five hours, Chandler greets me with enthusiasm and energy. If we are walking, she explores the nooks and crannies as if there might be a treasure hidden deep within.  And when she turns over and scratches her back by wiggling on the carpet, she engages every fiber of her being in the activity, continuing until she is fully satisfied that the “itch” is gone.

I certainly learn about presence as a way to Peace through Chandler. So much of what we share is done through our energetic connection, which seems to transcend the stories by which many human to human connections become derailed.

What creature do you find helps you to be in the moment when you are together? Ho does it make you feel when you are with that creature? And how can we translate the messages of Peace that our Guardians of Being so readily give to us?

 

Years ago, I took a week long training on hands on healing prayer. It was during that week that I learned a technique for quieting my mind so that I could become truly still in meditation.

It’s really simple. First, as a human being, no matter how “good” I am at meditating, thoughts will enter into my mind. The idea is not to resist this. Quite the contrary. I am to notice the thought, acknowledge that it is present, and consciously release it. Sounds easy, I know. I tended to get stuck on the release it part. Until the instructor suggested creating a visual representation of my thoughts and how I could release them without interrupting the rhythm of my body in the meditative state. For me, the thoughts became logs that I pushed gently into a river that carried them away.

Next, I learned to keep my eyes slightly open. By this, I mean cracked slightly. The reasons here are two fold. By keeping my eyes open a tiny bit, I was assured I wouldn’t fall asleep. Also, with the eyes slightly open, there is a soft focus, where light is visible and voices are heard, but there is a sense of spaciousness and possibility.

Also, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth is a practice that works well for me. It helps ground me. And, it helps me to set the pace for the meditation.

And finally, I learned that a practice of meditation develops slowly over time, and that if I insisted that I was going to do twenty minutes a day, I was not likely to be able to stick with it. However, when I began to give myself permission to meditate when I felt moved to, I realized that the more I did it, the better I felt and the more I wanted to do it, and the longer the amount of time I spent meditating.

For this Peace Walker, meditation is one way that I feel Peaceful. On the days I meditate, I feel more fully alive, more in tune with my body, more aware of the people around me. It makes me feel connected.

I am so profoundly grateful for the training I received that week, particularly around meditation. You see, prior to that, I was convinced I would never to meditate correctly. Today, I believe that all meditation can be healing, and can help us to find inner Peace.

For me, a daily practice which includes meditation is essential to keeping me at Peace. When I include meditation regularly, I am centered and focused.

Do you meditate? What’s something you have as a part of your daily practice? What can you do to connect to the energy of a daily practice? And what are some of the ways you meditate?

Several years ago, I began having difficulty with my vocal cords (polyps), which caused my giggle to become a bit hoarse and high pitched. I did not like the change. However, when my friends and colleagues would hear me giggle, they often said how much they liked it. I would thank them and quickly diminish their compliment by stating how much I didn’t like it. Until one of my dear friends suggested I receive the compliment without belittling myself. Thank goodness for her directness. I took her advice, and even though I thought it for a while, I stopped saying I disliked my laugh. And you know, when I let go of making it wrong, I began to accept it as a part of myself. Today, I actually think it’s a pretty special part of my self expression.

Tonight, as Kelli and I were in the car on the way to a friend’s house for a meeting, the two of us got to laughing, and couldn’t stop. Of course now, I couldn’t tell you what we thought was so funny, but it felt good to laugh. In times that are difficult for so many people, there is often an underlying tension that is palpable. I find myself being drawn into the depth, heaviness and seriousness of our world, and sometimes, I forget to laugh.

For this Peace Walker, laughter is often a way to release the emotions I’m feeling that don’t seem to ease otherwise. I have heard that it takes the same muscles to laugh as it does to cry, which may or my not be accurate, but I do know that a good belly laugh can be profoundly healing.

The year before I began my walk, I lived with my sister (Emily) and brother-in-law (Anders), and there were times when we would get to laughing, where the more one of us laughed, the more all of us laughed. It was absolutely wonderful for me, as I think it was for them.

Who do you know that you love to hear laugh? Is there someone in your life that you know you can be super serious with AND laugh hysterically with? When was the last time you leaned your head back and laughed from your belly? Go on, I dare you…

 

 

This little frog sits in the garden where I’ve been taking care of Sophie the past couple of days, and each time I look at it, I smile. The frog looks so robust and sturdy. And, the crown looks almost like a court jester’s head dress. The two seem a strange pair, yet somehow, I am happier when I come upon it in the garden.

I was one of those kids that wore outfits that really didn’t “go together”, and I remember feeling awkward because of it. It was not uncommon for me to get teased about my outfit.  I felt like I wanted to “fit in”, but I didn’t really know how. This struggle kept me from feeling peaceful for a long time. Today, I know that my desire to “fit in” and look like everyone else was because I felt self conscious and awkward.

Because of how I felt,  I made it a point to make other kids feel included. I didn’t want them to struggle the way that I had.

Over the years, I have had many different looks – all very much my own, and I love the feeling of creating something that is uniquely me.

Today I reflected on how easy it is to come from a place of ego, and to judge others simply because of how they look or the clothes they wear. And I thought about the fact that people are not their appearance.

Who is someone you have judged by how they looked, and how can you reach out to them? How would it benefit you to see past the outer shell and connect with that person? And what would the impact be on them?  I think its worth a try, don’t you?

 

Peace does not mean an absence of conflicts; differences will always be there. Peace means solving these differences through peaceful means; through dialogue, education, knowledge; and through humane ways.

Dalai Lama

The first time I read this quote, I was struck by how simple and yet profound it was. And, I thought about an artist friend of mine who says that the simplest looking designs are the most difficult to create.

Each of us is a unique individual, with independent thoughts, values and ideas. It is reasonable to hope that there are other people who feel the same way we do. And, it is quite likely that there will be some who do not see things the way we do. The point is, it doesn’t make either of us wrong; it simply makes us different.

I’m reminded of the phrase “agree to disagree”, which is a starting point. If we don’t see things in the same way, we can agree to disagree. From there, we can talk about whatever we disagree on. We can teach each other by sharing our perspectives with them. We can share information that might help them understand our point of view (this still does not mean we have to agree). And, we can treat one another with respect and compassion, regardless of whether or not we agree.

When I enter into a disagreement with someone, I need to remember that no matter the outcome, the other person is entitled to their opinion. When I can let go of the idea that I am right or justified, my ego backs down, and I can be curious, engaged and open to learning. When I come at the disagreement from a place of being right, my ego becomes insistent, judgemental and intractable. This, then, becomes contentious rather than compassionate.

I love the fact that each person I meet has a story to tell. That their story is different than mine. And, that there is learning that I can do, if I am willing to enter into the conversation from Peace.

It seems to me that when we really know ourselves and do not fight who or what we are, we find Inner Peace. And when we practice the same compassion toward others, we can find Peace with our communities. When our communities extend the hand of Peace further out, the possibilities are endless.

Lets take a moment to celebrate differences for what they are – opportunities to reach out and offer our whole selves, in Peace.

As I got myself ready for the day, I thought about how I might bring Peace into conversations and interactions, both for me, and for the people I encountered along the way. I thought about yesterday’s post, and I was reminded of the idea that every person we meet could easily be our next best friend. And, I thought about how important it is to human beings to feel included, seen and heard.

I meditated on greeting the day with an open heart, and set my intention to feed the hunger in my soul. The reason I meditate and set intentions is so that I can be fully present in each activity, and awake to the learning that experience brings.

For this Peace Walker, the hunger I feel in my soul is to find a way to Peace in the world, one step at a time. For me, that step often makes me feel uncomfortable. However, I find that the more I am willing to stretch myself for the sake of Peace, the greater my enthusiasm and energy. My experience is that when I am grounded in my core purpose, I am fully open and vulnerable with people around me. And, in that vulnerable and open place, conversations flow, ease is present, and there is a feeling of deep stillness sitting along side great enthusiasm in me. What I’ve also learned is that when I lean in to full expression of myself, other people want to lean in too.

Today, I said yes to full engagement with others. I reached out to a couple of people about another meeting for Peace next week. I spoke briefly with a couple that was looking at my shirt and invited them to come to next week’s meeting. My heart wants Peace in the world, and as I reach out to people in Peace, I am humbled by their generosity of spirit.

Could it be that simple? Radiate the energy of peace and give it freely to others. The energy will build and ripple out if we are willing to take one step for Peace each day. And for that, I am grateful.

 

 

 

Over the next few days, I am staying at a friend’s house and tending to her elderly dog, Sophie, who needs medicine at specific intervals during the day. Sophie and Chandler have often enjoyed spending time together, and today was no exception. The two ran around, went outside, ate and napped side by side from the moment we got here.

I’ve always enjoyed watching people, and today, I really enjoyed watching these two dogs be with each other.

Sometimes, we drop into friendships that seem unlikely, yet create bonds that last for years and years.

Today, I wondered what would happen if I spoke with each person I encountered as if we had been friends for a long time. It was actually really fun. I felt like the energy I was putting out was being received and returned by the folks I spoke with.

My lesson? Treat every new person I meet as if I’ve known them for ever, because I never know if they’ll become my new best friend.

When I took Chandler on her walk yesterday, she was full of energy, excited to be on the trail and enthusiastically exploring every nook and cranny she could find. As she ran forward, extending her leash to its full capacity, she would feel a little tension, turn around and run back to me. She did this over and over and over, bringing a smile to my face every time.

Along the trail where we walk, there is a small patch of bamboo that we go through, and for some reason, I really like it. Bamboo is actually the fastest growing plant, extending to full height in a single season. In deep contrast, the oaks and evergreens that surround this bamboo take years and years before reaching maturity.

Sometimes, I feel like Chandler – full of excitement and ease and ready to greet the day. Others, I identify with the bamboo – so much opportunity for transformation coming in my direction that I feel like I’m growing by leaps and bounds every day. And then sometimes, I am the oak/evergreen – slowly, deliberately growing toward the sky and rooting deep into the earth at the same time.

What feels important to me, is to notice how I am feeling. Each of the ways of being provide different strength, and some tasks are better handled in one over another. When I recognize this and connect how I am being to what I am doing, I find Peace.

Take a moment and ask yourself, how am I being today? What am I likely to do from this place? If you combine the being and the doing from this perspective, what’s possible? How can you find this connection within yourself?

 

“There is no greater block to world peace or inner peace than fear. What we fear we tend to develop an unreasoning hatred for, so we come to hate and fear. This not only injures us psychologically and aggravates world tension, but through such negative concentration we tend to attract the things we fear. If we fear nothing and radiate love, we can expect good things to come. How much this world needs the message and example of love and faith!”

Peace Pilgrim

In these times, the words of Peace Pilgrim could not ring more true for me.

So much of the world’s rhetoric today is based in fear, hate and violence, that there are times when I find myself wanting to separate myself from it completely. Sometimes, it feels as if the energy of fear has become so “normal” that there is no room for anything else.

How then, do I stand strong in love as my response to fear?

First, I use language that is loving both toward myself, and also toward others. Second, I remain curious. Curiosity is a great way for me to be present to other people with an open, non-judgemental heart. Third, I practice habits that keep me tranquil; meditation, chanting, breathwork, to name a few. Fourth, I keep a steady pace – one that allows me to be at ease rather than rushed or overwhelmed. Fifth, I have fun and laugh. And finally, I have faith. Faith in myself, in others and in the incredible energy of love.

I use these skills to remain at (or recover to) Peace, especially in times when I feel myself tempted to react because I’m afraid. The stronger the pull toward fear, the greater the number of skills I employ.

For this Peace Walker, fear and hate cannot exist in the same space as love and faith. And through love and faith, I find Peace.

Sometimes, when Chandler barks at something she sees, it startles me, and I find myself raising my voice to try and get her to stop barking. I am reacting to her barking out of fear. Of course, louder is not more effective. When I remember to take a breath and address her with a softness in my tone, she is more responsive. It also takes significantly less time for her to settle when I approach her with gentleness .

Today, I found myself thinking of my interactions with Chandler as a metaphor for my interactions with others. When I greet people with eye contact and a smile, I am usually greeted in the same manner. From this place, trust can be developed, and the relationship can grow and change. However, when I “bark” at someone, one of two things happens. Either the other person “barks” back, or they make themselves small. This type of interaction unbalanced and unsustainable.

For this Peace Walker, the lesson I am reminded of through my interaction with Chandler is that I will receive what I give. When I give myself a moment to breathe into what I say and how I say it, I can choose to be Peaceful. I can express myself from a place of Peace, creating space for community.

My dog is often my teacher. My job is to receive the lesson.