Peace of Mind… (blog)

This morning I joined a call with people I didn’t know to spend five minutes virtually holding hands with one another in community. The call was a result of one person’s anguish over the pain the world is in, and her courageous request for people to gather together. The call was both extraordinarily moving and profoundly intimate. The person who organized it began by stating the purpose for the call – to gather in love in support of our world and the tumultuous times we are in.

I don’t know how many people were on the call. I don’t know what they looked like, who they love, what religion they practice, where in the world they were calling from, how old they were, or what caused them to call in.

What I do know is that in those moments that we were on the call, each person was aligned around a common purpose. Having that alignment allowed us to drop deeply into our connection to one another very quickly. In those moments, all of us were equal. And there was Peace.

 

I went to have the tests done on my knee today, and am grateful that everything went relatively smoothly.

I am really lucky, because where I went for the tests is at a hospital situated in the little town of Truckee, CA, which is next to Donner Lake. It’s in the Sierra, and the day could not have been more gorgeous.

What was lovely about the day is that in between the tests and the waiting, I took myself outside and walked, silently taking in the incredible beauty that surrounds the hospital and allowing it to engage my senses.

It was actually a very Peaceful way to be in the midst of a long day without any answers.

As I made my way back to Nevada City, I came to a property marked by these cairns, and I wondered if they are there for a specific purpose or if the person(s) who created them ever comes by to see if they are still standing.

I spent a few minutes thinking about the bees on the flowers in the top picture, and the work they do instinctively in service of the whole swarm, and I was aware that, we too, each have our work in the world.

Tonight, I will hold Peace in my heart for the young men who were shot in Louisiana and Minnesota, and for the officers involved. I will also hold Peace for the officers killed and wounded in Dallas as well as for the others involved.

We are not helping one another by reacting with violence and rage. We must somehow, find a way to RESPOND with love and Peace.

And that, is why I continue to commit myself in service of Peace.

One of the things I imagined for the Walk for Peace was the idea of getting to a city or town and being there for long enough to be of service in some way. In my mind, I had several ideas of what that service might look like. Today, I spent most of the day in service, and it didn’t look anything like the things I had envisioned!

What is nice for this Peace Walker, is that while I have thoughts about how things will go, when I am open to change, what I experience is almost always more fulfilling than what I had planned. Today, I was aware in the moment of how different the ways I was of service looked, and I chuckled.

You see, I have been in this town long enough to be of service, and if I had been intractable in what the service should look like, I would have missed out on what turned out to be a full, fun, fascinating day.

Tomorrow, I go for tests on my knee, and I will be the recipient of help/service from others. It is my plan to receive the help graciously, remembering the sense of Peace I had from being of service today, and being open to helping others feel that through being of service to me.

And, at the core of this circle of service is a feeling of community. An awareness, if you will, of the Peace that giving to and receiving from others brings.

This morning, I had the opportunity to talk to a friend whom I’ve known for a long time, and to offer help with a situation in her life that I have some direct experience with. I gave her my contact information, and because she was working, went on my way.

A few minutes later, I went to a diner for coffee, and another friend of mine was there. This friend is grappling with information that has turned his life upside down, and trying to make sense of it all.  As he and I sat talking, I asked him how I could help, and he asked if he could call me on occasion to sound things out. I told him I would be happy to talk with him. As we said good bye, we hugged, grateful to have run into each other.

What is interesting about these two experiences is that neither of the people I interacted with are people I spend time with on a regular basis, nor did they have my contact information. And, in simply connecting to each of them and checking in with how they are, time stood still for that moment, and I was able to be present to my friends.

Then I went to a meeting, and out with another friend for coffee afterward. What was different here, was that I was able to reach out and share some of my feelings about the recent developments in my life. And, my friend was able to ask me how she can help.

What I know is, that when I open my heart to people, they open theirs back. When I am vulnerable with others, it gives permission for others to be vulnerable with me. When I ask how I can help, it opens the door for me to be able to ask for help.

In this way, there is actually a sense of community. There is a way in which the chain of kindness and Peaceful interaction continues to grow, people look out for one another without needing to control the outcome, and full permission is available to everyone.

This morning as I walked in the backyard and I saw this incredible bloom on the Rose of Sharon, I was aware of the stark contrast between the beauty of this flower and the horrific news of the past several days regarding the suicide bombings and attempts in Bangladesh, Iraq, Kuwait and Saudi Arabia. The number of casualties is staggering.

I found myself wondering how in the world I could help, not coming close to answering the question before me.

A bit later, I took Chandler on a short walk, and as I looked at the path unfurling in front of us, I took several deep breaths, consciously opening my heart in solidarity with the people affected by the attacks. On the one hand, this act seemed woefully inadequate. On the other hand, this simple action invited Peaceful energy and connection into the space, which is incredibly important to do if we are to effect change in the world.

Later, I had a conversation with a friend that began with me asking, “How can I help?” As we talked a bit, my friend said that it meant a lot that I didn’t give advice, but instead, asked how I could help. She said sometimes, that’s exactly what she needs to figure things out. What a gift that such a simple question/gesture can be so meaningful. And how incredible that it brings a sense of ease and a feeling that everything is going to be okay into the space.

A bit later, Kelli asked if I wanted to go pick up some items for our friend who is recovering from spinal surgery, and I said yes. We picked up the things Deb had asked for and took them to her house. Deb is a bit restless at this stage of her recovery, and as we prepared to leave, she said that when Kelli and I visit, she doesn’t want us to go, because it’s so easy to be with us. What I love about this is, that Deb took a moment to share her feelings with us, and that the impact of a visit from Kelli and me is so helpful to her.

At the end of the day, I was in the yard again, and I had profound sense that my answer was dancing right in front of me; while I a not in the regions where these attacks took place, I can be of service to the people around me. I can give of myself without control by asking how I can help. I can meditate and breathe with focus on people who are hurting, sending my love and Peaceful thoughts into the flow of energy in the world. And I can be a presence to Peace, wherever I go.

 

 

Human suffering anywhere concerns men and women everywhere.

Elie Wiesel offered these words in his acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo, Norway on December 10, 1986.

I could not agree more.

For years, I ignored the call to Walk because it frightened me, and I didn’t want to explore what it might mean. It felt almost surreal when I thought about it, and I actually thought if I ignored it, it would go away. Of course, that didn’t happen. Instead, I felt even more strongly pulled to explore it, and ultimately, to act on it.

I am not the first person to Walk for Peace, nor do I believe I will be the last. What I am is someone who is committed to Peace on all levels; inner Peace, Peace within families and communities, Peace among nations, and Peace around the globe.

I believe that each of us has the ability not only to find Peace within, but also to share Peace with every other living being we come into contact with. Unfortunately, we often become preoccupied with the “things we need to get done”. Fortunately, we have teachers like Elie Wiesel, who help remind us how important it is to be present and to take action. And, if each of us takes one step toward Peace each day, we can change the world.

Today was spontaneous, and fun. Early in the day, Kelli loaned me her car, and I decided to take myself to the local co-op, where they have tables and chairs outside, and a continuous flow of people coming and going all day long.

I got myself a salad and sat outside, where I was visible and available to folks. I had an elderly gentleman ask about my t-shirt, and when I began to tell him about the Walk for Peace, he indicated he had read the story about me in the paper in March. He said he thought this was “a courageous thing to do in this day and age”, and wished me well. Although he was the only person I actually had a conversation with, I met people with smiles and simple greetings for the next two hours, feeling present to the energy of the folks around me.

The air was still and hot (it’s in the 90s here) and people were dressed for the heat. It felt good for this Peace Walker to be outside. It also felt good to be interacting with people in a Peaceful, unassuming way.

Connecting, engaging and being with people without expectation or assumption is a gift I bring to the world that I know gives people a feeling of Peace. And, in the hours I spent interacting with people today, I too, felt a sense of Peace.

The past several days have been filled with necessary introspection and taking care of tasks related to my knee. Today, I got to refocus some of that distracted (necessary, no doubt) energy on the Walk for Peace.

 

My friend Kellie (not the Kelli I’m staying with), picked me up and took me to see the orthopedist this morning. He ordered tests, which are scheduled for next Thursday, July 7th. I’m really grateful that things are finally progressing toward a solution around my knee; albeit no where near as quickly as I would like. It isn’t easy to wait. I will, of course, post status updates as I have them.

On another note, I was invited to a 60th birthday celebration tonight, which I actually spent some time this afternoon trying unsuccessfully to talk myself out of attending. I knew there would be several people I didn’t know there, and I didn’t feel like making “small talk” with people. As I began to get ready, I realized that I was totally caught up in my own head, and rather stuck in my story. When I realized it, I actually giggled out loud. And, I did what I’ve done many times before. I made the decision to do the opposite of what I wanted to do, and I went to the party. What I love about this is that I had a wonderful time at the party, and that I would have missed it if I had listened to my head. Instead, I met some great people, I saw some dear friends, and I enjoyed a lovely evening in my friend’s home.

What I know about myself is that when I am resisting doing something that might be fun, I am well served to jump in and do it anyway. When I jump in and say yes, I can open up to whatever is put in front of me, and engage in it with a Peaceful heart. Feeling a commitment to Stepping Into Yes! makes me feel connected, grounded and Peaceful.

 

Today was quiet for this Peace Walker.

I got up early, went to a meeting and went by the hospital to pick up the x-rays and the radiology report, so that I will have them to take to the orthopedist. I’m glad I picked them up this morning, because late in the day, the orthopedist’s office called, and they are going to see me tomorrow morning.

I rested quite a bit in the early afternoon, and went into town for a meeting later in the day. At the meeting, I had a chance to hold a five week old baby, and I must say, my heart melted. Holding that tiny little girl as she slept filled my heart with Peace.

Later, Kelli and I picked up some items at the co-op, and as we were leaving, we ran into a mutual friend. The three of us sat outside and visited for a couple of hours – sharing about all kinds of different things. It was so nice to simply stop, sit and drop into connection with each other. As we hugged goodbye, I felt a sense of Peace that we had taken the time to be with one another.

What I know is that experiencing and sharing Peace does not have to be an enormous undertaking. The tiniest of experiences can bring about great Peace – provided our hearts are open to it.

Tonight, my heart is open to give and to receive Peace.

 

Today, I woke up thinking about the fact that 101 days ago, I stepped off on the Walk for Peace. I decided to take some time to review the photographs I’ve taken, and I am so glad I did! As I looked at the faces of the people I’ve already met, and allowed memories to flow in, I felt a sense of Peace and tranquility that filled me with warmth and gratitude from the inside out.

Then I thought the future of the Walk for Peace, letting my thoughts drift to all of the possible ways it could go…and I was filled with a deep longing to be physically walking again, meeting people and sharing spontaneous connections along the way.

And finally, I brought myself back into the present moment, which I’m not feeling completely Peaceful in. As you know, I have been having trouble with my knee, and have been resting it for almost 5 weeks, without improvement. On Sunday, I went to the ER (again), and after tests and x-rays, was told that the artificial knee joint is loosening/failing. Unfortunately, this means that I will have to have a surgical procedure called a “revision”. Fortunately, when I called to check the status of my application for health care coverage in California, I was informed that it is active. And, I have an appointment with an orthopedist on Wednesday next week. For the time being, I will be staying where I am – in Nevada City, CA.

It also means a shift in the way I reach out to have conversations about Peace (at least for now).

As I walked into a coffee shop yesterday, I was greeted by a woman who said she liked my t-shirt. I thanked her, turned, and ordered my coffee. As soon as I had paid, I turned to the woman and asked if I could join her for a moment. She and her daughter were heading out, so we exchanged a few words, and she thanked me for telling her about the Walk, and as we parted, she entered the name of my website into her phone, saying she would definitely “check it out”.

Next, Valentina (the proprietor of the coffee shop) and I talked about the Walk (as we have on several previous occasions), and I teased that since I am going to be in town, I might just take up residence in a corner of the shop to talk to people about Peace. Valentina immediately indicated that it would be fine with her. And, she indicated that the store could be used at night for other purposes. So, after a bit more discussion, I asked Valentina if she would be willing to let me host regular evening gatherings to talk about Peace with people in the community. Her response? “Of course I would! Anything I can do for the community, I want to do. It is the least I can do for humanity.”

Just like that, the energy of Peace through community is sparked through 1conversation! And, just like that, the Walk for Peace continues!

For this Peace Walker, there is disappointment, sadness, anger, and a bit of “poor me” in having to have my “new knee” fixed, and It feels important to say so. And it also feels important to say that there is gratitude and comfort in knowing that I have a community that will help me “get back on my feet again”, in having the ability to have the repair done on my knee, and in knowing that even in the face of uncertainty, I can find Peace. What I know about myself is that when I am facing an obstacle in my life, I have a process I go through that helps me ultimately find Peace. First, I become quiet and introspective, taking time to get used to the idea. Second, I give myself permission to be with the sadness, fear, anger, frustration, etc., rather than ignoring the feelings. (I have found that it helps to give myself a time frame for this phase, so that I don’t sink completely into the quicksand of the emotions). Third, as I begin to take the steps toward resolution, I am gentle with myself. I complete as many steps as I can comfortably, and then I let it go for the rest of the day. Fourth, I talk about what I’m facing with people who can support me without needing to fix it or me. And finally, I stay closely connected to my daily practice of meditation, chanting and intention setting. This keeps me grounded and centered in presence.

In this presence, I am at Peace.