Peace of Mind… (blog)

Today as I walked down the path to get some supplies, I stopped to take a picture of this lizard sunning itself on the deck. My co-assistant, Annemarie Estess asked what I was doing, and I explained that I was photographing a fat lizard. And then I showed her the photo I’d just taken, and pointed out how fat the lizard was.

Later, I thought about my choice of words and was amused by how quickly I placed a judgement on this creature. I could have described the lizard as cute, and it would also have been a judgement. And while I don’t think the lizard was affected by my description, I’m glad I thought about it.

What I want to remember, is that judgement, no matter how insignificant it seems, fosters an environment where we are disconnected and separate from.

The Walk for Peace at its core, encourages inclusion. I engage people without judgement or separateness. When we are received in inclusion, we are able to bring the whole of who we are into the conversation. And from here, everything is possible.

 

When I first saw this little tractor, I thought it was a really cool antique kid’s toy. However, upon closer inspection, I discovered that it is an antique sprinkler. There is a place between the wheels where a hose can be attached, and when it is turned on, water sprays out of the pipe where it looks like a seat would go. It’s interesting to me that I might not ever have known the true nature of the tractor if I hadn’t taken a closer look.

That got me thinking…how often in my life have I come to a conclusion about something without looking closely at it? And how many times have I done that with human beings? It’s not the first time I’ve reflected on this question, and I don’t suppose it will be the last.

As I meet people and have conversations with them about the Walk for Peace, I endeavor not only to speak with them, but also to get to know them a bit. I look at them, listen to them, talk with them and fully engage with them. And by doing this, I am often the recipient of large amounts of information about them. There is great excitement as I learn about who they are and what’s important to them about Peace and other things.

What I love about the conversations is that I am totally curious about who I am meeting and what they have to say. I find myself looking to deepen and strengthen the connection, rather choosing to turn away.

In my life, and on the Walk for Peace, I will continue taking a closer look at the people who cross my path. I want to be in community with people. And I want to invite people to be in community with me, walking and talking about Peace.

Today I had the pleasure of witnessing people looking into one another’s eyes deeply, making connection and challenging each other to be fully present.

• I saw people reach goals they never imagined they could.
• I saw people fail, get up and try again.
• I saw people fail outright.

And in each experience, I saw people showing up fully with each other, allowing both the “good” and the “bad” side of their personalities into the  mix.

For me, what I saw today was a snippet of what I experience each day on the Walk for Peace – human beings connecting from their hearts.

And here’s what I know…

When human beings connect and go forward together, the energy grows exponentially. And when we connect from the heart, the energy of the heart creates presence. And through presence, we let go of our past and our future, which enables us to find Peace.

Today, I was a witness to Peace.

 

As I looked over the horizon this evening, I saw the beginning of an incredibly lovely sunset as the backdrop to the beautiful property where I am this week. There is an energy here that both excites and calms me – and I find that I am filled with a sense of Peace.

The day was full of lots of activities, many of which had the participants smiling at one another as they learned ways of being in partnership with each other. And, I found myself thinking (again) about how great it would be if everyone could have a similar experience.

And I thought about the people I’ve met along the Walk for Peace, realizing that whether or not I speak to them, I attempt to make eye contact with and smile at any person I come upon. For me, looking into someone’s eyes and exchanging a smile often bridges the perceived gaps that exist between us, opening up an opportunity to take our interaction a step further. Sometimes, it is a greeting. Others, it is the beginning of a conversation. I try and follow the energy of the exchange to see if there is an “opening” to deepen the connection with the other person. And, I continue to be touched by the response.

I received this photograph that my friend Katja Mueller-Kitney’s daughter drew for me today, and it brought me to tears. The beautiful leg with hearts around the knee for love and a tennis shoe on the foot, the perfect drawing of Chandler, and all of the peace and love added into the card that Hollie drew, made me feel as if she had looked into my eyes, reached into my heart, and smiled at me. Thank you Hollie!

 

 

 

Today, my friend Annemarie Estess and I started a weeklong assistantship for a leadership program that we completed last year. When I agreed to assist, I didn’t know that I would be on the Walk for Peace, but I did know that I wanted to be of service to another group of people as they moved through the year long program. While this is not a paid position in the conventional sense, watching people who are committed to becoming more connected through open, transparent communication is priceless. In that regard, I am grateful to be here; and I’m happy to be sharing this service with Annemarie.

I am also grateful to my friend Kellie Reed and her son, Daniel, who are taking care of Chandler this week while I am at the conference center. Kellie sends me photos like the one above, and it assures me that not only is Chandler well taken care of, but also that she is content.

My knee actually felt pretty good for the greater part of today, which was really a relief. I did a fair amount of walking, and a portion of it was on inclines, so we’ll see what tomorrow brings. Tonight, however, I am feeling Peaceful because I’m not in pain.

I took this photograph today as I arrived at the conference center where I will be an assistant to a leadership program that I graduated from last year. When I attempted to go to the website, I was redirected to www.peacealliance.org.

Their Mission: The Peace Alliance empowers civic engagement toward a culture of peace.

I expect that I will spend more time on this website, and perhaps, with people/organizations associated with The Peace Alliance.

In the past twenty four hours, two of my sisters (Emily Melcher and Dita Darrah) have reached out to me  to see how I am in the wake of yesterday’s shooting in Orlando. I must say that I am heartbroken for the victims, their friends and families, and all the lives they touched that will be different now. And, I am heartbroken for the “shooter”, his friends and family and all the lives he touched that will be different now.

I said to Dita,  “What I want to know is how do we help find our common purpose rather than our differences and individualized agendas?”

She replied,

“Walk for Peace.”

I could not have said it better.

When we remove the labels of class, race, religion, gender – ego

the ways we are separate from one another can fall away

we can be seen

I see you

how can I help?

I began the day with coffee on the patio with my friend, Colleen, which was lovely. We visited and simply enjoyed each other’s company until Colleen headed out to work.

For a little while, I sat on the floor with Colleen’s two aging Labradors – enjoying their enthusiastic moans and barks as I scratched and played with them.

I spent the remainder of the morning meditating and chanting, both of which bring me great Peace.

Later in the day, I spoke with my sister Marybeth and still later with my sister Emily and brother in law Anders.

Overall, I kept a fairly low profile just being.

The first thing I did this morning was to tape my knee with the Rock Tape I received in the mail yesterday. Over the Rock Tape, I put on the immobilizer and then I headed for the coffee maker to begin the day.

Next, I made a call to try and set up an appointment with my primary care provider to get a referral to an orthopedist for the week that I get back to Washington. I was told that the first appointment available would be July 29. I explained that I have already made one trip to an ER and one to an Urgent Care Clinic, and that my knee was not improving. The woman on the phone said she would make a note in my file for review by the provider to try and procure a referral without an office visit, and if they had questions, they would call me. Naturally, I asked when I could expect to hear back. “Not today. I can’t tell you when, but not today.” she said. So, I called the 800 member service number, and requested and override to the policy requiring a referral to an orthopedist. I was told that I could call one of the approved orthopedic service providers and see if they would take me without a referral. “If not”, the gentleman said,”there really isn’t any way to speed up the process of referrals.” I asked for a list of orthopedic specialists in the area, and he emailed to me. There are exactly 3, and they are all in the same office. So, I dialed the number. The woman who answered the phone indicated that I had called a pediatric orthopedic surgeon. She kindly offered to transfer me. I thanked her, and awaited the transfer. Next thing I know, I have reached the orthopedic ward of a hospital. When I explained that I had been transferred there and that I was trying to reach _______ _______ orthopedic office for adult care, the woman kindly offered to transfer me. Not surprisingly, that transfer resulted in a return to the pediatric orthopedic surgeon’s office. For this Peace Walker, the best action was to Step away from this task for the remainder of the day.

When Kelli dropped me off in Napa this afternoon, I had the opportunity to view the progress of the garden Colleen is growing. I also stood looking right at the beautiful orchid she had inside. Colleen is a gifted gardener, and I find moments of Peace each time I see the way she nurtures and tends the plants.

When I Stepped away from the phone calls this morning, it was a conscious decision. I wanted to stop before I felt stressed, and in doing that, I was actually able to laugh a little at the the absurdity of “the system”. For me, this type of conscious choice to take care of my psyche is a way that I am able to stay focused on the greater purpose rather than be distracted by the particles. And for this Peace Walker, purpose is primary.

Today in the mail, I received two things. The first was a couple of rolls of Rock Tape for supporting my knee. The second was this hat. Both were gifts from my dear friend, Becky McKee. The hat is one that Becky owned, and the day I told Becky and her partner Tina Andersen about the Walk for Peace, Becky said the hat should be mine. Honestly, I had forgotten about it, but I love it, and I was grateful to receive it – today especially.

Why today? Because today was an especially emotional day for me. Let me see if I can share a bit with you…

Two nights ago, I straightened my leg, and I heard/felt a rather loud and painful “clunk” in my knee. And, since then, I have been in a lot of pain. And, although I have a rather high threshold for pain, I am feeling particularly tired by this pain. As you know, I went to the ER in Napa and got an immobilizer. Then, went to an Urgent Care clinic in Nevad County and was given a hinged knee brace. Unfortunately, the overall condition has not improved. My feeling is that I need to be seen by a specialist. My non-emergency, non Urgent healthcare coverage is in Washington. That means that in order to be seen by an orthopedist, I need to be in Washington.

Here’s where it gets complicated, so hang in there with me.

Before I started the Walk for Peace, I was invited to assist in a 10 month leadership program (the program I completed last August) which is offered through the Coaches Training Institute. A portion of the program takes place in 4 week long residential retreats in Sonoma, Ca. And, the second of the retreats that I am assisting for is next week.

If you’re still with me, here’s the plan.

Tomorrow, I will be taken to Napa, where I will stay until  Monday. On Monday, I will be picked up in Napa by my co-assistant, Annemarie Estess, and taken to Sonoma. Then, on the 19th of June, I will be taken to the airport and I will fly to Washington to find out what is going on with my knee.

Of course, this is the plan. As with all of life, things could change.

Today held a lot of tears and a lot of release for me. The tears were due in part to the pain I’ve been in. They were also due to knowing that this is the best plan for now – even if it isn’t MY plan. And they were due to the amazing support I have received everywhere I’ve turned today.

As this Peace Walker says Yes to the next chapter, she is fully committed to conversations about Peace, Peaceful interactions and continuing to share the energy of Peace in each encounter she has. For now, a metaphorical Walk for Peace through presence to it.