Peace of Mind… (blog)

My first discussion about Peace came this morning with these three lovely ladies – Leticia, Vickkie and Amanda. They were intrigued by the Walk, and told me that finding Peace is going to come from being kind to one another and treating others with respect. The energy was positive and upbeat and I thoroughly enjoyed talking with them.

A couple of miles into the walk, Chandler and I met Matthew. We talked for a bit, and Matthew told me stories about what his life is like. I learned that Matthew plays the harp and loves dogs. When I asked if Chandler and I could take a picture with him, Matthew said he’d be honored. As I sat next to him on the bench, Matthew said, “Most people don’t even notice me.” I thanked him for the conversation, and when I looked at the picture a little later, the look on Matthew’s face brought tears to my eyes. I’m so glad I noticed him.

After another mile and several phone calls back and forth, I was met by Nanette Pond and her two dachshunds. Nanette’s dogs came from the same place Chandler came from – The Dachshund Dude Ranch (www.dachshundduderanch.com) in Texas. My sister, Molly owns the Ranch, and posted on her FB page about the Walk. Nanette began to follow me, and today, we got to meet in person. We packed up the buggy and Chandler and went for an iced tea and a wonderful discussion. I felt like I’d known Nanette forever. Chandler and her friends Willow (hard to see her) and Georgia had a couple of hours together, and they seemed to enjoy each other.

After I left Nanette, I walked the remaining two and a half miles to the home of these two lovely women. Gwen and Jess opened their beautiful home to me, filled me with delicious food and we visited as if we were old friends. Our connection was brought about by a mutual friend who visited them in March and told them about the Walk. Jess reached out to me and said they would be happy to host if/when I got to their neck of the woods, and tonight, I did. 

What I noticed with each of the conversations today was that each one felt like home – warm, inviting, curious, supportive and loving. Surely, a day filled with Peace.

The day began like may others have – Chandler in a hurry to get walking, and me slurping down the last sip of coffee before heading out. I was feeling especially good this morning, because I got a chance to do my laundry and to completely empty and reconfigure the buggy and all my belongings yesterday. As we passed these kites suspended in their animated state, I realized I was feeling a renewed sense of purpose this morning. As Chandler “read the news” on the shrubs, light poles and hydrants, I took a moment to call my Mom and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. It got me thinking about where the tradition came from, but I have to admit I didn’t take the time to find out (yet).

About an hour in to the Walk, I noticed this interesting integration of humankind and nature. I thought the entanglement was fascinating in its simple complexity. It was as if the two had found a way to Peacefully coexist.

Only minutes later, I came across the street sign in the top photo and I couldn’t help but giggle. Oh, by the way, I love to giggle.

What came next was to take the majority of the afternoon, and would remind me of how quickly things can change. I had just turned into an area where there were several tables and chairs next to a burger place, where I had decided to rest a bit. After about five minutes, I heard a woman enter the area and sit down rather noisily. I turned to see what the commotion was, and the woman was just getting onto a call on her cell phone. When she connected, she began crying quite loudly and begging the person on the other end of the phone for a couple of dollars to get the bus to go home. Apparently, the call ended without the woman procuring the funds. When she hung up, she began sobbing hysterically. I turned again and this time, I asked where she had come from. She indicated that her sons were in the restaurant across the street and they had told her to leave. She went on to say that she is an alcoholic and that she needed to drink some this morning to stop her shaking, and that her sons were mad at her. I continued to speak with her for several minutes, as she calmed down. As she relaxed a bit, I told her that I would be happy to give her the couple of dollars for the bus, or I would make some calls to see if I could help her get into a detox facility. She opted for the money. I gave it to her, and she walked toward the bus stop. A few minutes later, she came toward me and asked if I would really help her. I said of course. For the next couple of hours, I made phone calls. First to the local AA hotline to ask for names and numbers of detox facilities, and to see if there was someone available to come and help me. Shortly thereafter, a woman and her husband showed up to help. They brought sandwiches, coffee and water as well. I had contacted two facilities, both of which were full. As we sat talking with this woman, I received a call back from the third facility and they informed me that they had a bed available. Our new friend agreed to go directly to the facility. The husband and wife that came to meet us agreed to transport our new friend to the facility. The three of them got in the car, and I made the decision to continue on my way.

Tonight, I am filled with gratitude for being present and able to help someone in need. I am grateful for the couple who came to help us. I am grateful to have known where to reach out for help And, I am grateful to think that tonight, perhaps, one woman is resting in safety and support.

A little over six weeks ago, I began the Walk for Peace. So many things have happened, that it’s difficult to know where to begin.

In some ways, I feel like I started walking  yesterday. In others, I feel like I’ve been walking forever. It’s as if time has stilled inside me and all of my experiences are one.

I’ve definitely experienced the concept of 6° of separation. An attorney friend of mine in Grass Valley referred me to an attorney and his wife who she knew in Vacaville for a place to stay. As we talked the evening I stayed with them, we discovered that my godmother had been in the same law school class with this man and his wife 29 years ago. Today, as I connected with someone I met three days ago on the Walk, I became aware that he knows a dear friend of mine in Auburn who housed me on day three of the Walk.  For me, those connections are a beautiful reminder that while I may feel far away, I, and we, are always connected.

Many people I have come across are rushing to get somewhere or hurrying to complete something in preparation for the next thing on their list. I find however, that if I can make eye contact, there is almost always a moment available for a “hello”, a “good morning”‘ or a “how are you?”.  For me, the simple act of meeting someone’s gaze is often for only a moment, and I want what I send out to be Peaceful.

It has been delightful to have Chandler with me on the Walk. She is often the first contact with people I end up in conversation with. When they see her, people tend to soften. Many times, they smile or giggle when they see her riding in the buggy, and a conversation sparks from there. Over and over I have seen her delight at meeting someone new be the reason a person stops, takes a moment to give her some love and becomes willing to engage in conversation with me. I am regularly reminded by Chandler that enthusiasm is contagious.

When I am crossing intersections, I often notice that people begin to drive their cars into the intersection before I have finished crossing. It was a bit unnerving the first few times it happened, and I found myself getting irritable about it – often before it happened. Of course, this doesn’t really align with Peace. I wondered what I could do to lessen my irritation, and I came up with a solution that works. Whenever someone who has crossed the lines with their car notices me and backs up so the crosswalk is clear, I make it a point to thank them. For me, righteous indignation leads to disease within myself. And, consciously choosing to interact with gratitude brings me Peace. I’d much rather let go of the anger and be in the energy of thanks.

I carry all of my belongings in the buggy I push on the Walk. That means that whatever I purchase has to fit in it, without impeding Chandler’s riding space. I have several ditty bags with different items in them, in case I need to move things out to collapse the buggy for transport.  One of my friends asked which bag would be the most difficult to lose. At first, I thought it would be the one with my toiletries.  I soon realized however, that it would not be difficult to replace anything that I had in the buggy. A couple of weeks later, raccoons got in to the buggy and ate Chandler’s food. That day, although I knew I would have an opportunity to purchase more food for her, I was unsettled until I actually had the food on hand. For me, the connection to the health and wellbeing of someone else (in this case, Chandler) made me aware of how little importance stuff has compared to the great importance beings have.

Each day on the Walk presents opportunities to know greater Peace. Occasionally, it’s through a reminder of how small the world is. Or quick eye contact and a word or two. Maybe it is through an animal’s exuberance. Sometimes, it comes through dealing with discomfort differently by shifting the focus and energy.  And, it comes with the knowing that the companion you travel with is far more important than any of your stuff.

The Walk for Peace continues…

 

 

 

Today as I walked in the rain although I didn’t see any people, I came across this fascinating site. The photo on the left shows what appears to be several rocks on the sidewalk. However, upon closer inspection, as the photo on the right shows, the rain invited several snail “block parties”. It seemed as if the snails young and old, large and small, were celebrating that nobody else was on the sidewalk. This scenario repeated itself for block after block.

I thought about the pace of a snail and the pace of the cars whizzing by me. I wondered if any of the people in the cars that passed me were aware of what was happening on the sidewalk.

I was happy that I had made the decision to walk in the rain. I was glad to come across several scenes like the one in the picture above.  It was lovely to see the rain drops sitting in the blooming flowers, and to think of the parched earth getting a sip of water. I felt like the experience of being with nature instead of resisting her gave me a sense of ease…peace, if you will.

And, I felt lucky to be.

 

Last night, I was to stay with some couch surfing folks. When I arrived, there was  a note on the door saying that they had gone to dinner, and the key was under the mat. When I checked under the mat, there was no key. At first, I was upset. It had been an extremely long walking day, and I was ready to rest. I made the decision to leave a message with the deck of the 1conversation for Peace cards  that I carry with me. What I discovered as I was writing the note, was that my mood was changing, knowing that in addition to the note I was going to be leaving the cards.   I found myself becoming calmer, and finding a little bit of humor in the idea that although the intention was there to leave the key, whatever distraction happened caused the key not to be there. I made my way back into town and took a room in a motel that, suffice it to say, I was happy to depart from this morning.

The first people that I met today were Kianna and Katrina. I asked each of the young women what makes them feel peaceful. Kianna said, “music, being with friends and interacting with others”, and Katrina said “music and being alone”.  I then asked them if they would like to pull a card from the 1conversation for Peace deck, and they both said yes. Neither one wanted to answer the question in the moment, so I encouraged them to think about the question and when they felt ready, to share it and their answer with someone important in their lives. Kianna was up for a picture, Katrina wasn’t.

Next up were David and Melissa. They were trying to raise funds to make up for what the government has cut for the DARE program in schools.  We spent some time talking about what it means to be of service in a community.

Later in the day, Chandler was the ambassador for Peace. Pam and Becky were both taken by Chandler, and she was happy to oblige them with tailwagging, kisses, and a photo. Both Pam and Becky have first hand experience with having dachshunds, so it was fun to talk about what great dogs they are. I talked to the gals about the Walk for Peace that Chandler and I are on, and they were both enthusiastic, asking where they could follow us. After a quick photo of my shirt (the back has my website printed on it), we took a selfie, and the gals were on their way back to work.

All in all, it has been a full day.

But wait, there’s more! If you’re interested in reading on, I’ve answered some of the questions that people have asked during the first 45 days…

• You bet my feet hurt – and they recover quickly.
• Yes, I wear sunscreen every day.
• Yes, Chandler and I are both drinking enough water. I’m up to about a gallon a day – which is good considering how much I sweat out.
• No, I haven’t had any blisters. I’m convinced this is because of three things. First, I put an anti-chafing gel on my feet every morning that serves to keep my feet lubricated so there isn’t any friction. Second, I have two pairs of shoes that I trade off every day. Third, I have socks that are thick enough, with some merino wool, and moisture wicking.
• Chandler walks a mile at a stretch. Then she rides in the buggy. When she whines, I let her out and she walks another mile. She determines how many times she walks during the day.
• I haven’t worn out either pair of shoes, yet.
• No, I haven’t camped, YET. I am happy to camp, and it’s a little tough with the ordinances most cities have about sleeping in parks. The one state park I was hoping to camp in doesn’t allow non-service animals. At some point, I hope to camp. Even if it is in someone’s yard.

Thanks for hanging in there – this post was a bit of a long one!

Peace…

 

 

Last night, I was hosted by my friend Cathy Chen-Rennie. We didn’t get too much time together, but the visit was wonderful and Chandler got lots of love from Cathy, which she loved.

Although today was one of the longest walk days to date in terms of distance, I have to admit I did not have a single in person conversation about Peace, the Walk or anything else. I invited two women to stop and have a conversation, and one of them had a plane to catch, so they said they didn’t have time to talk. Next, I asked a group of men that were walking on the same path that I was on. They were on a working lunch and were meeting during their walk. And later, I approached a couple who, as it turned out, didn’t speak English. Since I didn’t speak their language, we weren’t able to have an in depth conversation. We nodded politely at each other however, and I was aware of the kindness I felt as I looked into their eyes.

I got the feeling that perhaps today was about simply noticing, and notice, I did.

The first things I saw were these giantic dandelions! They were the size of softballs. And I noticed how intricate the design of these fragile plants is.

I laughed out loud when I came across this Capitol dome. The dome had been carefully placed atop the fence – and regally stood awaiting an observant eye.

Next, I saw a yard full of these two plants – the purple of the rose of Sharon complimenting the deeper purple of the butterfly bush drew me from across the street to take these photos.

And finally, as I walked along side a creek, I spied this shopping cart standing in the middle. I wondered who might have put it there. I wondered haw long it had been there, and whether or not the wheels were rusty. I was curious to know who would be responsible for removing it.

Yes, today was filled with noticing – as each of the days have been in one way or another. And tonight – at the end of a really long and very physical day on the Walk for Peace, I’m noticing not only that I am tired, but that it is time for me to sleep.

I started off rested after an evening with my delightful hosts Nicholas, Christina and their dog Seaborg. My friend Carol Cole-Pugh shared her family with me and sent me into the day with well wishes and peace.

A bit later, I got a picture from my sister Marybeth Melcher, who keeps a Walk for Peace count on a white board in her kitchen, and most days sends me a text with a welcome into the new day. It’s fun for me to get the texts – I’ve become accustomed to them being part of my day.

Most of the folks I passed today were either talking on their cell phones or listening to something through their headphones, but I had the great good fortune of meeting Reuven and Tzvia and speaking with them. When I spoke of walking for Peace, they shared that they know of a group of American women who are collaborating to march in America at the same times as  a group of 7,000 women who are going to march in Israel. The march is for Peace and will take place in October. I said I would be very interested in speaking with the group that is in this area. Reuven immediately left a voicemail and sent a text message to try and connect us. As we hugged goodbye, Reuven asked how I was funding the walk and I indicated it is by donations to my fundraiser or to PayPal through my website. Reuven asked me to invite him to contribute, which I did. He shared that it is important work I am doing, and asking for contributions is part of the work. After Reuven and Tzvia left, I sat in silence for a long time, grateful for these two amazing people and that Peace brought us together.

Over the past several days, I have spent long periods of time walking parts of the California El Camino Real – which is a 600 mile road that runs from Sonoma to San Diego and connects the missions, some presidios and some pueblos within the state.  This bell in Palo Alto is one of 550 that exist (some original and some replicas) along the route.

These pictures are of one small portion of te Stanford campus that I could see from the beautifully maintained bike/walking path that runs along side it.

I walked past a group of four men sitting in a Parking lot taking a break this afternoon, and then I turned around and approached them. When I did, I met Augustine and three other men who were eating their lunch. Augustine and I began to talk a bit and I shared what I’m doing. I then asked my new friend, “What brings you Peace?” He replied, “God. God brings me Peace every day.”  We continued to talk about his family, kindness and interacting in kind ways toward one another. I asked if we could take a “selfie”, and he agreed, wondering if he was going to be famous. I told him his face would be on my website and in the Walk for Peace story, but I couldn’t guarantee fame. We laughed a bit, and as I got ready to leave, Augustine said, “You made my whole day.” Funny thing, Augustine made my whole day, too.

The day started  with a long stretch of no interaction. Although I was on a busy thorough fare, there was very little foot traffic. About mid morning, as I approached a service station, I saw this fully equipped airstream at one end of the service station property.  As I got closer, I saw that if I wanted to I could treat myself to an eyebrow threading. However, I decided to hold off for now and continue the Walk.

Next I came upon these two lovely blooms dancing together in the soft breeze. I stood and watched, feeling the warmth of the sun on my back and the happiness at noticing such beautiful color along my way. 

Chandler walked with me for a bit, but mostly, she looked for places that we could rest. This was one of several stops we made today (to her credit, it was fairly warm, and we both did well to take the breaks).

Late in the afternoon, I had as I stood in line to get a coffee, the elderly gentleman in front of me was getting more and more agitated by the interaction between the cashier and the patron trying to order. He told me (in a rather loud voice) that “people should not get in line before they are ready, and if they do, they should be kicked to the end of the line.”  I said, “I wonder if she’s had a busy or rough day and just really wants a cup of coffee.” I also asked if he was in a hurry. He wasn’t. As we talked a little more, the cashier and her customer were able to complete their business, and it was the gentleman’s turn. As he stepped forward, I heard him quietly apologize to the woman for being “impatient”. I love being able to be curious about people. When I am curious, judgement falls away, and there is permission for whatever wants to come in.

Chandler and I are resting at my friend Cristina Spencer’s house tonight, tired from a warm day on the Walk for Peace.

Last night, I arrived at the home of Scott and Amy Day, and was welcomed by their three boys Owen, Will and Cooper. Cooper fell instantly in love with Chandler, and giggled each time she licked him. He took her leash and led her around the house and I knew where they were by the giggles. Will volunteered to give me a tour of their house, which included quite a collection of Lego creations! Unfortunately, the Day family was up and out before I awakened this morning, but Owen left me a message that touched me.

As I walked toward Redwood city, I came across these beauties – the buses reminded me of a family trip many, many years ago (we had a blue VW bus) where we went across the country sight seeing and visiting people along the way. The flowers in the center reminded me of my maternal grandmother, who had geraniums in pots in front of her home .

Later in in the day, I came across this young woman. Jada was eager to greet Chandler, and as she asked questions about Chandler’s “ride”, we began talking about the Walk for PEACE. Jada was interested in the Walk, and we sat and talked about how important it feels to be kind to one another – especially in this time when so much of what we see and hear is hurtful or negative. I asked Jada if she would like to draw a card from the 1conversation for Peace deck, and she quickly said she would. The question was “What is the most compassionate thing someone has done for you?” Jada said that her mother had dedicated her life to Jada and her sister, and that is was the most compassionate thing she’s ever experienced. Jada said she loves her mother and that her mom is stubborn, self sufficient and kind. She also said she thinks that her love of people comes from her mom. I was choked up by the time we finished our conversation. What a lovely young woman Jada is! We had fun taking a selfie, and actually ended up being a bit silly in the second shot.

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