Peace of Mind… (blog)

AGING

For a number of years, I was employed doing small to medium sized construction projects. I was lucky enough to learn many skills which are called for in remodeling, building and maintaining properties, houses, etc. The work wasn’t always easy, and from a physical standpoint, it was “hard”on my body.

If I backtrack a bit, I would say that my love of sports was also “hard” on my body, particularly being a catcher for years as a (competitive) softball/baseball player.

As you know, I have had a knee replacement (and revision), and I was told at the time of the first surgery that I would be wise to have the other knee replaced soon as well.

I’ve also noticed recently that I am not hearing conversations as well as I used to. I find myself (aggravatingly so for some) asking people to repeat themselves.

And…I could go on.

What is important to me is how I respond to the process of aging that I am in.

A friend with whom I was having supper took this picture at the moment I (for the first time ) had the option of ordering from the SENIOR menu.

I was actually caught off guard and completely amused! I went on to tell the server that this was the first time I’d been aware of being in the SENIOR category, and she played along by saying she didn’t believe me, and asking for identification (proof) before taking my order. My friend, the server and I had a good laugh about it. Afterword, I sent the picture to my four sisters, and we enjoyed some lighthearted banter around it. And lucky me, I got a discount on the price of my supper.

Here’s how I respond to my aging.

First, I notice what’s different now than how it “used to be”. Next, I ask myself if there is an action that can help with the change. For example, writing things down instead of trying to remember everything. Still another path to acceptance is to talk about it. That way, I’m not holding the energy alone (and I can commiserate with my friends and family).

And finally,  find the humor. When I can laugh at myself and the changes I’m experiencing, I also find Peace.

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others.

You need to accept yourself.” 

-Thich Nhat Hanh

A couple of days ago, I stopped for gas at a station just off the freeway, and as I handed my money to the clerk, she asked me what my Walk for Peace t-shirt meant. I shared with her about the Walk, and my deep passion around finding a way to Peace in the world. She shared with me that it feels impossible because she doesn’t feel at Peace within herself. For me, the idea of Peace in the world has to start with finding Peace within. 

As we talked a bit more, my new friend asked me how she can find Peace within herself. Of course, I don’t have the answer, but I shared with her the things I’ve done to accept, love and finally come to Peace in my life.

For me, self acceptance came through examining all facets of myself and acknowledging each one as an integral part of the whole. I chose to change the way I interacted with the parts of myself that felt negative. I began to be willing to see them as carriers of information, allowing myself to release the emotional response and to integrate the information without prejudice. Also, when I received a compliment or a reflection of something positive about myself, I simply received it. I didn’t make excuses or point out things to diminish the gift I was being given. And, I began to reflect to myself the ways in which I had value that aren’t measureable by a check list. I also began keeping a daily list of things I am grateful for, reminding myself to check in when I am uncomfortable and to seek the gratitude in the situation.

But here’s the thing – Peace within did not come overnight for me. And, I continue to ground myself in these practices so that I can maintain the awareness of self I need to feel Peaceful. Most days, it comes without effort. Sometimes, it doesn’t. The point is, I have the option to begin again at any point during my day. I have been fortunate enough to receive the tools I need to have Peace. And, I am forever grateful for the whole person I am.

I think we could have talked for many hours if we had had the chance, but it was clear that my friend needed to get back to her work, and that I needed to get back on the road.

As I got ready to leave, she asked where she could start…

I smiled, shared some of the things I found to be wonderful about her in the short time we’d been talking and suggested she begin her days with a gratitude.

After I walked out, I felt compelled to go back.

I told her that her curiosity and her questions were a start – she’s already shifting her perception of Peace in her life.

She smiled, and I went on my way.

 

 

When I visited my father and his wife over the holidays, I walked  Chandler in the neighborhood where they live. One afternoon, I (we) came upon this magnificent bird of paradise. While I have seen many of these plants in my life, my experience this time was a bit different.

First, I was taken by the gorgeous colors. Next, I found myself giggling, thinking it looked like it was frozen in the midst of a hearty laugh. Then I wondered where the plant originated and how it came to be in this particular place, thriving as it obviously was.

When I got back to the house, I did a little research, and found out that the plant is native to South Africa. I also learned that it is the “official plant” of Los Angeles; that it is pollinated when birds seeking nectar land on it and pollen then lands on the bird’s chest and is carried to other flowers the birds land on; and that it is toxic to cats and dogs.

So, what’s this plant got to do with the Walk for Peace?

The things I learned about this plant were rooted in my curiosity about where it came from. What’s neat about it is that the answer to the question of origin lead to other questions and other things, which I might not otherwise have learned.

For me, the Walk for Peace has also been based in curiosity. I am interested in knowing how other people gain Peace in their own lives, and how they then share it with others.  When someone shares their story, and it is so completely different from my own, I find myself being curious to learn about Peace from their perspective.  I also find that this curiosity creates a genuine, open feeling; inviting further conversation. Curiosity is a building block on the bridge to Peace.

I wonder – who is your “bird of paradise”, and what are you curious to know about them?

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I awakened this morning, I found myself feeling happy and excited for the day. The sun was shining (after a beautiful rainy day yesterday), I felt fully rested and I knew I was going to help a friend during the day and then out to supper with still more friends this evening. As I put my feet on the floor, I set my intention for the day – jubilant expression.

On and off during the day, I had several opportunities to interact with people (some I knew, others I didn’t), and I relished sharing the joy I was feeling with them. At one point, I was on the phone with a friend, and in response to something we were sharing, I let out a cheer of “Woo Hoo!”. My friend responded with a rather subdued “woo hoo”. I suggested she could do better, and encouraged her to really put some feeling behind it, to which she responded with “WOO HOO!”, and we both laughed out loud.

The fun thing about sharing this moment with my friend is that not only did each of get to express our joy, but we also had the chance to share that joy with each other.

Just as negativity, sadness and anger are contagious, so too are joy, happiness and Peace.

At supper, there was lighthearted banter, absurdity and general silliness interspersed into the conversation. I felt energized and enthusiastic; grateful for the chance to join in community and to complete this day full of jubilent expression.

WOO HOO!

When I couldn’t post last night, I found myself feeling a sense of relief. As I thought about why I was relieved, I realized it was because the post had a heaviness about it that didn’t reflect how I was feeling. So then, what was I was feeling? A longing.

My coach and I worked on this today, and here’s where I am now…

I know from deep in my core, that Peace is my life’s Purpose. I also know that if I am at Peace, I can speak, share and be Peace with others. And together, we can spread Peace out from wherever we are.

I also know that there are times when my purpose feels easeful, relaxed and energizing; as well as times when it feels burdensome and draining – like “work”.

What I have been saying to myself and others for a while,  and actually connected to fully this afternoon is that when it feels like “work”, somewhere along the way, I’ve forgotten to have fun. Doing things that are spontaneous, lighthearted, playful, mischievous, etc., actually help me to be at Peace.

This is the longing that ran through the post that didn’t post yesterday.

As I celebrate my fifty-fifth birthday today,  I feel excited to experience what happens as I reintroduce FUN into the Walk for Peace.

Anyone want to join me?

 

It’s been quite a while (again) since my last post, and I have missed writing. Often during the past few months, I have had a thought come into my mind about something and I’ve thought I’d write about it for the blog. However, somewhere along the way, the thought would pass, and I would sit to write, only to find myself without words.

On this first night of the New Year, with the first of two full moons this month shining brightly above the part of the world I’m lucky enough to inhabit, I wanted share my gratitude with you.

I am fortunate enough to have had the time yesterday to write out some intentions for the coming year. I also got to write and to read the things I have been grateful for in the past year. And, I got to set some special items on a dresser/altar I’ve created, simply for the purpose of imbuing them with positive energy and feelings. Then, I got to spend time in meditation about both the year that came to a close yesterday as well as the year ahead which began today. Next, I had an opportunity to spend time with a few people; sharing a meal, a game, conversation and some laughter. And finally, I came home and got to put myself into bed in a safe, warm environment.

I am grateful for a heart that feels joy in simple things; and for that same heart when it reaches out to others when needed. I’m grateful to have the support of others when my soul is weary; and to be that support for others when I can. I’m grateful for the space to set intentions; and for perspective that finds humor when everything changes.

And, I am grateful to the constant opening of the meaning, feeling, interpretation, and expression of Peace I am called to discover and share.

 

 

Today as I sat thinking about what I wanted to write in my post, I noticed a woman sitting a couple of tables away, sporting a top with lots of peace symbols on it and I found myself smiling. It felt somewhat like a welcome home after time away…

When I speak with my Dad these days, he reminds me of the fact that he checks every morning to see if I’ve posted, and I am grateful for his continued support of me and of the Walk for Peace…

About ten days ago, a friend of mine sent me a message thanking me for my intention. He also said he’s been missing my posts, a kindness which filled my heart…

So, here we are. Day 600 on the Walk for Peace.

Let me begin by saying it was never my intention to take such a long break in writing. There are many things to speak to with regard to Peace – a constant stream, in fact. I also didn’t expect that I would remain in Grass Valley for as long as I have this time. I thought I would connect with friends and colleagues, regenerate a bit and head out for the next phase of the Walk for Peace. However, what I thought would be and what actually is are two completely different things. It’s not surprising to me that things changed, because I am of the belief that life is fluid – change, inevitable.

In the past few weeks alone, we have been witness to hurricanes, floods, landslides, volcanic eruptions, killings, exposure of systemic sexual assault and other deeply painful experiences. We have also shared in the stories of community, love, assistance, heroism and recovery in the midst of the turmoil.

However, we are not healed.

Although we live in a world where technology allows us to connect with one another around the world, it also keeps us from each other. Too often we are home alone, in our cars, at a coffee shop staring at a computer or looking at someone through a screen when we see or hear something that elicits strong emotion. And although we might see someone’s reaction, we are not truly sharing the experience. We are increasingly experiencing our emotions (joy, sorrow, anger, etc.) in an isolated bubble. When we react, we do so in that same bubble. Often, without consequence. Another facet of the technological bubble is the ability to reach some (people privileged enough to have access), and a complete inability to reach those who aren’t “connected”.

For this Peace Walker, this “connected” disconnect feels like a huge divide.

Part of the joy of the Walk for Peace is that there is constant connection with human beings. Connection to the energy, the surroundings, the shared experience and the moment we are in. Having the ability to look into another’s eyes, and to be with them as they look into mine and experience presence is such a gift. Often, we find ourselves assisting one another, simply because someone needs something that someone else has.

When we connect ourselves to those around us, we have the chance to process the experiences of our lives by experiencing the empathy of others. In this, we find that we are not alone behind the “screen”.

And together, we heal.

Between Sunday and Monday, these three cities came to have something in common. Each one had experienced a devastating act of violence. Merseille – France, Edmonton – Alberta – Canada,  Las Vegas – Nevada – USA; all three with victims either injured or killed. And all three with an individual perpetrator, wreaking havoc on the city where they committed their crimes.

As I have said before, I cannot begin to imagine what the families and friends of the victims are experiencing. I do not know what it feels like to be a friend or relative of one of the individuals responsible for the attacks. And I certainly don’t know how the attackers themselves felt.

I do however, feel as if these acts are an example of just how closely we are connected to one another. Three cities in different countries rallying around their citizens. Three cities committed to remaining open, welcoming places for people to visit. Three cities with dedicated “first-responders”, available at a moment’s notice to come to the aid of others. And three cities caught in the difficult place of trying to make sense out of something that shocks the senses.

There is something important to me about the way we handle our own emotions and energy when seeing, hearing about or experiencing such traumatic events.

Just as I have after many incidents like the ones mentioned, I have found myself wondering how I/we can come together to heal the unseen (emotional and spiritual) wounds of people affected. Also, what do I need in order to heal myself? And how can we heal when we are rushing to judgement about the people who carry out these acts? How do we find solace by racing into a political discourse in the minutes following such trauma? How are we to come together while seeking financial gain from the misfortune of others?

Now is the time to acknowledge the pain we are in. It is time to begin the process of healing our rage toward ourselves and toward those around us. When something like these events occurs, we need to reach out and offer help to be with the pain and sorrow. We need to be willing to feel the depth of sadness openly and without shame.

Yesterday, one of my sisters and I had a conversation that began with a moment of thought for the people in Las Vegas. For me, that included the man who carried out the attack. Why? Because he is part of humanity. One of the most difficult things we as human beings are asked to do is to be with emotion. All to often, we become uncomfortable and want to avoid the vulnerability that connects us; finding (sometimes harmful, sometimes addicting, sometimes numbing) distractions rather than taking the time to slow down and to process the emotions that arise.

I’ve often said that if a person is willing to walk through something, they will never have to experience it in the same way again. Tonight, I take that one step further. If we are willing to walk together in our vulnerability, we can heal ourselves, others, and the world.

With you, whomever and wherever you are, I am willing to Walk together for the sake of all creatures, our planet and Peace.

 

Grass Valley is a town of about thirteen thousand people. This evening, several hundred to a thousand members of the community came together to Walk for Love. The walk was organized after one of the community members shared his account of an act of bigotry and hatred perpetuated against his son. Imani Walker, (Jamal’s son), was followed by three people in a car as he walked on the main street in downtown Grass Valley. The people shouted racial epithets and swore at Imani as they slowed the car enough to follow his pace.

Since Tuesday, the police have followed up with Jamal, the local newspaper reported on the Walk for Love, a local news affiliate interviewed the family, and Facebook pages specific to this area have been flooded with support for Imani, Jamal and their family. The response has been prompt, thorough and heartfelt. Tonight’s Walk for Love is an example of people choosing to come together, to align around a purpose and to be together for the sake of human kind.

In checking my own feelings about what happened, in addition to the sadness I felt for Imani and his family, I found myself feeling a frustration that at first, I couldn’t figure out. However, as I read the words of people reacting to the incident, I realized what I was bothered by. Many of the responses to the incident were vicious and hateful. Some called for the perpetrators to be killed. One made reference to what they would do to the “sons of bxxxxxx” if he ever got his hands on them. And several spoke of the shame that bystanders should feel for not stepping in to defend Imani.

Tonight, I’m asking everyone to take a moment to consider the continuing damage that is caused by meeting hate with hate. When we blame, shame, threaten and belittle others, we are perpetuating the very behavior that, for some, becomes the hateful speech and actions directed at Imani on Tuesday. I don’t condone the actions of the men who chose to spew their hate and anger at one of the members of this community. And I cannot support hate speech and threats of violence toward those men either.

When we begin to find empathy for others in the midst of misunderstanding, we begin to move toward inclusion rather than separation. I am grateful for the outpouring of love this community shared with and for Imani and his family tonight. Every time we meet hate with love, we have a greater chance of Peace.

Secretary-General’s Message for the International Day of Peace

On the International Day of Peace, we reflect on the cruel price of war.

Ruined schools. Bombed hospitals. Broken families.

Refugees searching for hope. Countries in crisis.

The United Nations was born from a terrible World War.

Our mission is to work for peace — every day and everywhere.

No group interest, national ambition or political difference should be allowed to put peace at risk.

On this International Day, we call for a global ceasefire.

We must never — ever — stop pressing for an end to armed conflict.

Peace is the right and the desire of all people.

It is the foundation for progress and well-being – happy children, thriving communities, and peaceful, prosperous countries.

Let us pledge to work together – today and every day – for the peace we all yearn for and deserve.

António Guterres